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poetry
Feb 2, 2005 0:55:36 GMT -5
Post by Sad Peter Pan on Feb 2, 2005 0:55:36 GMT -5
That is a great poem! Thank you for posting! hope to see more. TEXTThanks, I was beginning to think no one was interested in sharing opinions. I hope you don't mind my interpretating your poems, it's something I love to do. I'll post another one of mine for you to read ...
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erin1979
Junebug
change is never and forever is my heart.
Posts: 66
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poetry
Feb 2, 2005 1:09:45 GMT -5
Post by erin1979 on Feb 2, 2005 1:09:45 GMT -5
I like the way you did that!! thanks for reading it i wish you could do that for all my writings . ; ;D jonathan inspires me to write and before that my mothers death did ...It still does I just think If I didn't have the ability to write I would be worse off in my life. thanks again for reading. means alot!
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erin1979
Junebug
change is never and forever is my heart.
Posts: 66
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poetry
Feb 2, 2005 1:18:43 GMT -5
Post by erin1979 on Feb 2, 2005 1:18:43 GMT -5
Hate is never complete I still ponder sickness in me. She looks like clay. My true self will never rest until death. This dress is in water. The light that shows my Flesh hurts. How my heart aches for his bloody kisses . how his shadow runs across my floor into my skin I can feel him , with sweet sugar music as we cover each ones hearts in gloom. Erin.
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poetry
Feb 2, 2005 1:20:57 GMT -5
Post by Sad Peter Pan on Feb 2, 2005 1:20:57 GMT -5
I like the way you did that!! thanks for reading it i wish you could do that for all my writings . ; ;D jonathan inspires me to write and before that my mothers death did ...It still does I just think If I didn't have the ability to write I would be worse off in my life. thanks again for reading. means alot! No problem! Keep posting poems and if they speak to me I'll offer an interpretation. Right or wrong, interpreting abstract poetry is fun. It makes you think.
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erin1979
Junebug
change is never and forever is my heart.
Posts: 66
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poetry
Feb 2, 2005 1:22:54 GMT -5
Post by erin1979 on Feb 2, 2005 1:22:54 GMT -5
That was such a great poem. I made me feel smooth inside. may I ask what was your insperation for that poem. Wow ...That kind of writing is heart felt . I loved it!.
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erin1979
Junebug
change is never and forever is my heart.
Posts: 66
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poetry
Feb 2, 2005 1:23:50 GMT -5
Post by erin1979 on Feb 2, 2005 1:23:50 GMT -5
I will !! thanks again I never had anyone do this and its nice
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poetry
Feb 2, 2005 4:41:17 GMT -5
Post by Um Jammer Lammy on Feb 2, 2005 4:41:17 GMT -5
This thread is great you two write well, keep posting!
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erin1979
Junebug
change is never and forever is my heart.
Posts: 66
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poetry
Feb 2, 2005 16:31:33 GMT -5
Post by erin1979 on Feb 2, 2005 16:31:33 GMT -5
How I linger till he sleeps. In motion I feed his hunger. I would die a thousand deaths to feel his warmth. the worms cover me tonight in tears. My words fly into his ears as he wispers madness. To his love I seek the underground. Erin.
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erin1979
Junebug
change is never and forever is my heart.
Posts: 66
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poetry
Feb 2, 2005 17:50:19 GMT -5
Post by erin1979 on Feb 2, 2005 17:50:19 GMT -5
Here is another.
Wooden floors creep in heart ache. blue eyes in pain. The depth of loss has faded. The brused walls echo in sadness as I kneel to cry. My heart has spoke in silent waves that rush against his flesh. Erin.
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poetry
Feb 4, 2005 0:53:38 GMT -5
Post by Sad Peter Pan on Feb 4, 2005 0:53:38 GMT -5
I think we all have weird things that we do. hey did you read my poems? i wanted to know what you thought? It's not the same. Now that I know about Jonathan and your mother I don't have to guess, the poem practically spells itself out for me. But I will interpret it given what I know, and also as someone who doesn't know ... this is for you to read. How I linger till he sleeps. The poet waits for him to sleep, but why? Is it because she wants to escape from his presence, but can't because he won't let her, and so she awaits his slumber before making her exit? Or is it because she actually revels in his presence, and she "lingers till he sleeps" because she wants to be sure that while she sleeps, he also sleeps, therefor he's not going anywhere and she feels safe knowing that. Or maybe it's something entirely different that the audience doesn't even know about. Based on what I know about you, I'd say it's the later and that it's about Jonathan, but I could be wrong. Maybe you just suffer from insomnia. Lets go on ...In motion I feed his hunger. I have no fucking clue what this is, it could mean anything. He's hungry. You feed him. You perform a motion with your arm and hand, holding a spoon of food, and go through the motion of aiming it at his mouth while he eats it down? What kind of food are you feeding him? Or is this a metaphor for something different? In my opinion this line could be changed around a bit.I would die a thousand deaths to feel his warmth. To die a thousand deaths would hurt like crazy, but it would be okay because you take strength in knowing that at the end you will be rewarded or comforted by "his warmth". This tells how much his warmth means to you, and reinforces the 2nd opinion of the first line, that you linger in consciousness for him to sleep because you want to make sure he remains with you the whole night. You want to feel his warmth all throughout the night. This also amde me wonder if you currently felt his warmth, or his warmth was something you were wanting, but didn't have. Based on the first line of lingering while he slept, I assume the poet already had his warmth, and was just pondering it, thinking about how much she appreciats itthe worms cover me tonight in tears. This line is unique as it's the only one that doesn't mention "him" which must mean something. The only line that doesn't mention "him" is the line that you are covered in worms and tears, which doesn't sound very fun. Not fun at all. But then again, in the same night that this would occur (being covered in tears and worms) would also be the same night you cherish "him" by sleeping next to him and his warmth. So this doesn't make sense, unless there's something more going on (which is likely ... this isn't a very in depth interpretation, and this poem is incredibly vague) something more like maybe you and "him" had a fight during the day, and during your sleep you're having nightmares about feeling scared or hurt. Whatever it is, it doesn't exactly agree with the idea of being comfortable and happy. It also has a slight connection with the previous line - perhaps the poet doesn't know the warmth she'd die a thousand deaths for, and this is why she's being covered in worms and tears.My words fly into his ears as he wispers madness. he talks in his sleep, words that don't make sense, and you're still awake wispering sweet nothings to him while he does so. This line also has a lot air in it (wispering, words, flying), compared to the rest of the poem which is mostly about being sleeping or being underground etc.To his love I seek the underground. Not sure what this line means, but it might be that you want to root yourself in the very foundations (underground) of his love. Erin. This poem definately has a constant "underground" theme to it, and the last line spells it right out. To sleep is to be sub-consciousness. After someone dies, especially a thousand deaths, they are buried. And what creature permeates the underground (or you if you are covered) other than slimey, thick, earthy worms? If there are two lines that could be taken out of this poem, it would have to be lines 2 & 4. I found this poem to be pretty creepy and rather dark, yet at the same time it has a feeling of comfort and hope. Creepy and comfort don't usually go together, but you have them in a pretty good balance here, thanks for sharing.
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erin1979
Junebug
change is never and forever is my heart.
Posts: 66
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poetry
Feb 4, 2005 2:00:33 GMT -5
Post by erin1979 on Feb 4, 2005 2:00:33 GMT -5
it is true i linger till he does sleep so i can. my father always left me alone so i would awake with know one there. thank you for doing so with my poem. I thought yours was true. I felt like you were almost inspired at that very time you wrote it. i liked it alot . you should post more I told jonathan that I was having you sort of read my poems and interpret them ..... I want to write more but i will not tell you storys to them for I want them to be clear for you. this is fun!! thanks again
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poetry
Feb 4, 2005 2:05:40 GMT -5
Post by Sad Peter Pan on Feb 4, 2005 2:05:40 GMT -5
this is fun!! thanks again Indeed it is, you're welcome I like all the possibile meaning behind abstract writing, but do you have anything less dark and cryptic? If you do post it. If you don't, post it anyway What does he think? Does he support your writing?
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erin1979
Junebug
change is never and forever is my heart.
Posts: 66
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poetry
Feb 4, 2005 2:20:09 GMT -5
Post by erin1979 on Feb 4, 2005 2:20:09 GMT -5
he is very suportive of it!! what does your girlfriend think? if you dont mind me asking. that poem was soothing. it made me feel like i was resting in a light blue room with white flowers. I have many poems and i know mine are a bit dark , as i have some that are weird and strange and most are in the name of Love. hope you dont mind.
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erin1979
Junebug
change is never and forever is my heart.
Posts: 66
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poetry
Feb 4, 2005 2:25:01 GMT -5
Post by erin1979 on Feb 4, 2005 2:25:01 GMT -5
how I drive into his heart. with my mouth I seep into his veins. In this room we melt. As in the chilled moonlight he covers my lips. red is the stain that was left on his tongue I carve my secrets into his bones.
Erin
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erin1979
Junebug
change is never and forever is my heart.
Posts: 66
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poetry
Feb 4, 2005 2:31:39 GMT -5
Post by erin1979 on Feb 4, 2005 2:31:39 GMT -5
does she give you taste. is the moon in her eyes. does the time rumble thru the night as she sleeps. are you tired inside your heart. has the sun gone down in her eyes. is thunder burning in the evening as you await her lips. The buried sand has awoke from his grave.
Erin
that was a different kind of poem I just wrote at this very moment LOL
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